When contemplating relationships, one attribute stands out, that attribute is trust. Be it business or personal, relationships have become incredibly complex and the ability to intelligently navigate their idiosyncrasies seems to be held by the select few, these chosen ones are often in possession of some hard to pronounce qualification in psychiatric or psychological care.
Today’s fast food world of instant gratification and constant connectedness has resulted in the disease of too much choice. Our generation has no patience and we are unwilling to sacrifice or compromise on our own personal happiness or fulfillment. We live in a world where anything, including love, can be attained by “swiping right” on an app or swiftly clicking on “order now”. We can get from A to B quicker than ever and the majority of our time is spent staring at a small screen eagerly awaiting our next rush of dopamine released by the whoosh of our next like, comment or Snapchat view.
Human beings require interpersonal relationships, it’s in our DNA, and much like food and water, it is fundamental to our very existence. The problem I foresee is that the very notion of interpersonal relationships is under threat by the technology and social reprogramming that we designed to assist us with building better and longer lasting relationships.
The combination of our instant gratification expectation and technology that allows us to quench that never ending thirst is currently strangling our ability to have long lasting and meaningful relationships. I am not saying that long lasting, positive relationships are impossible to have as a result of these attributes, I am only highlighting a trend that I have noticed over the last 5 years.
The truth is that in today’s world it is far easier to breakup with someone than to try and make it work. It is far easier to find new and exciting sexual encounters than to try and stimulate those encounters with your current partner. It is easier to find new friends, stimulate conversations with individuals with similar interests, make business contacts and develop support groups. We have access to a virtual buffet of interpersonal channels that allow us to feed our deepest and darkest desires as well as our most noble intentions. How do we as a socially starved and confused society stop ourselves from becoming self-destructive and toxic amongst this gluttonous array of hedonistic options?
In my mind one attribute stands out as the overarching ruler of interpersonal relationships in the modern world. That attribute is Trust. Trust is something that is built over time and can only occur through multiple field tests of the trust in question. Unlike love, which can be felt instantly and changes as the relationship morphs, trust follows a linear growth scale and once it is broken your trust value goes back to 0 and you need to embark on a trust building exercise again. The ability to wholeheartedly trust someone is to put your life in their hands. When you hand over trust you give the keys to your heart and mind. Trust as I understand it is the most valuable attribute available to the concept of relationships.
If you want to have a long lasting and incredibly rewarding relationship, make the attainment of trust your number one priority. Understand the person’s insecurities, respect their vulnerabilities and start to grow that element of trust. If through the good times and the bad, you are able to stand as a trustworthy partner, friend or business associate, you will possess a relationship that is unwavering.
True happiness is not attained in the microwave world of instant gratification, it is attained through the slow accumulation of failures and successes experienced and survived with trustworthy partners, friends, family and business associates by our sides.
If you can be anything in this life, be Trustworthy.
Brandon